Public Perspiration- I Mean, Public Transportation

For a city of 12-17 million people, Istanbul is surprisingly easy to navigate without a car. I'm infinitely grateful I don't have to drive in this place. The traffic snarls on the major roadways many hours a day, but its not for lack of providing other public options. Public transportation here is damn good. Diverse options. Several public train lines, tramlines, bus systems, ferry boats- all of which you can use with the same rechargeable transportation card. Super easy! There are also a couple of different privately-run bus options, the mini-bus & the Dolmuş, which are dirt cheap and take cash. I don’t really ever see anyone on bicycles, but people walk everywhere. There are taxis, and they always seem busy, but I can barely count on one hand how many times I’ve taken a taxi here since January.

One of the bus systems is called the Metrobus and it runs on one of the major highways between the airport and Kadikoy, across the Bosphorous Straight on the Asian side. I love the Metrobus because it has its own lanes in the middle of the highway so it doesn’t have to fight traffic. I took it a lot when I was living in Bahcelievler because the stop was right in the middle of the pedestrian bridge near my house. It was a relatively quick trip into to Taksim or over to visit Umit in Kadikoy. And super cheap- like 2 Lira. I don’t take it much anymore because my apartment is pretty far from the closest stop. Being that this city is so densely populated, inevitably you end up crammed with what feels like about a million other people on all of these busses, trains, trams, etc. And its only getting more crowded now that tourist season is here.

There are a few things that Turkish people are famous for (well, more than a few), that seem exacerbated by close quarters on public transit:   1) pushiness and a general lack of spatial awareness. I noticed this for my first time when I was in Greece last summer actually. There is just an entirely different concept of personal space over here, meaning, it really doesn’t exist. The only rule is that there are no rules. This goes for standing in line, walking on sidewalks, walking in overly crowded spaces… It is an accepted fact that you don’t really wait in line. Anywhere. You push your way to the front- along with everyone else. In most American cities I’ve been to, when walking in crowded places, there is a certain level of flow and spatial awareness. In Turkey? Not so much. One of my coworkers calls it Istanbull-dozing. Totally accurate. 2) STARING! Oh. My. God. The staring. Especially as a woman. Especially as a foreign woman. 3) Body odor. I don’t know why, but, at the risk of overgeneralizing, Turkish folks don’t utilize the benefits of deodorant. I noticed this with some of my students in the winter. Powerful stuff, I tell ya…. Of course, the weather is getting much warmer now, and much more humid. And the public transits much more crowded. So……you can probably do the math. Ripe. Potent. Palpable.

All of that being said, there is a TV advertisement for the Metrobus that I want to share with you. I’m only sharing the actual advertisement because I reallllllllly want to share the spoof of the ad with you, which shows how it actually feels on the bus. It features the three things I just mentioned. Enjoy!

The Original Ad (watch this one first, or the 2nd one won't be as funny):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RBPdi0K29U

The Spoof:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHdzOMNR_Do